anonymous
12-10-2007, 07:03 PM
Disclaimer - This story is entirely fictional and does not reflect any of the celebrities involved in its' true personalities or sexual nature. That being said, enjoy!
What's up readers? It's The Squad Leader here to introduce my new series, Cupid's Revenge. It seems that Cupid, in addition to being the god of love is also quite a smart ass and a bit of a show off. He also tends to get bored easily and quite often finds himself interfering in mortal affairs (especially those of celebrities). This series is a recap of some of his more memorable adventures. So enjoy, but be warned, Cupid's not always a nice guy, and sometimes he can be downright rude, so if you're easily offended, this might not be the series for you.
Special thanks to Carnage Jackson, KMB and Rulehater for allowing me to include them in this story and have a little fun at all of our expense with my over exaggerated, tongue in cheek characterizations.
As always, I love receiving feedback, suggestions and requests. Please send any of those to squadleaderus@yahoo.com.
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"What fools these mortals be"
-Puck, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Cupid's Revenge: Chapter One - Storytellers
Oh, hey there, I guess you're wondering what we're doing up here floating on a cloud, and why I'm wearing a diaper? For that matter, I guess you're wondering who the hell I am?
Well genius, the name's Cupid, and for the record, it's not a diaper, it happens to be the traditional garb of my family. And let me tell you another thing...
"Hey Eros! Eros, I got that info you wanted me to get! Eros!"
"Damn it Schmuck, I told you not to call me by that name! Now sit down over there and be quiet! I'll deal with you in a minute!"
As I was saying, my family's got more stroke around here than the Sopranos. You may have heard of my grandfather, a fellow by the name of Zeus. Yeah, talk some shit now! All I've gotta do is snap my fingers and you'll have a lightning bolt up your ass quicker than you can say bad hair day.
My great aunts and uncles are nothing to sneeze at either. There's great uncle Posieden, god of the sea. He's always been my favorite because when I was a kid, he would take me fishing. Sometimes he'd even let me use his trident to catch a swordfish or two. And then there's aunt Persephone and uncle Hades. Man, everybody's got a weird uncle, but this guy is just downright creepy. He's always sitting around in his underworld torturing people and plotting destruction. And he only comes up to see us on holidays, which is just fine with me, cause that dude is shady.
Now, a little bit about myself. I was born in Greece, and had a pretty normal childhood except for the fact that I didn't know who my father was. Everyone's got there own ideas about who my pops was, but the two main theories are that it was either Ares or Hermes. Both guys are ok, but I can't really see either of them being my dad. I mean Ares is such a prick, that I can't see how any woman would want to bear him a child, and I'm pretty sure Hermes is gay. Where do you think the term "light in the loafers" came from. Irregardless of who my father was, I do know one thing's for sure, and that is that my mother is a wonderful woman. I'm sure everybody feels that way about there mom, but mine was truly a special lady. You probably know her as Aphrodite, the goddess of love.
"You're mom is definitely a M.I.L.F. Eros!"
"Schmuck, shut the fuck up or I'll make you fall in love with this goofy CSSA reader I'm talking to!"
Sorry about that, you'll have to forgive my over exuberant friend here. Schmuck was the unfortunate byproduct of one of my drunken mishaps. You see, I got wasted one night at a frat party and decided to hook my hosts up. I shot one of the guys with an arrow hoping to have him fall in love with the cute pizza delivery girl, but instead, the poor sap wandered over to the petting zoo at the mall and laid eyes upon an ass named Roberta. No seriously, I'm not just calling her names, she was literally a donkey! After sobering up and realizing what I had done, I turned off the love spell, but it was too late. A short while later, little Schmuckie was born. Roberta wouldn't have him because he looked mostly human, and the humans wouldn't take him in on account of his donkey ears and buckteeth. So being as it was kind of my fault, I raised him. He's a good kid for the most part, just not too bright.
I try to give him jobs to do so that he understands the value of hard work just like my mother did for me when I was a child. She got tired of me lying around Olympus all day and said to me "Eros, I want you to get off your ass and start working." By the way, Eros is my real name, which I hate. I think I was named after one of her friends from college or something. In any case, only mom gets to call me that, so be warned, unless you want to live a lonely existence I suggest you call me Cupid. Anyway, she put me to work having people fall in love. As far as work goes, it's not a bad gig, I get a magic bow and arrow, flexible hours and an awesome 401(K) plan. Oh yeah, and then there's the super powers. How many of you can fly? What about turning invisible, bet you wish you could do that? Change your appearance to look like anyone you want to? Didn't think so.
So that's kinda my story in a nutshell. I've left out a few details, but we'd be here all day if I gave you my full story. Plus, you're probably still wondering what you're doing here on this cloud. Well you see, I brought you here to show you what happens when people fuck with me. There is this site on the net called CSSA with all of these stories about celebrities and yada yada yada. Anyways, this site is helping to upset the balance of love. Instead of people falling in love and getting married and all that jazz, it's now all about lust. You've got all of these Homer wannabe's writing erotic fantasies and whipping people up into a frenzy about it. This absolutely does not work for me. So I sent Schmuck down to Earth to find out who the biggest offenders were, and with the information he managed to dig up, I'm going to take care of these people once and for all, and you're going to watch me do it.
"Ahem, I said with the information he dug up, I'm going to take care of these people."
"Oh, right boss, here's the stuff you asked for."
"Let's see here, according to this file, the four main perps are Carnage Jackson, The Squad Leader, Rulehater and KMB. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't KMB some type of foot fungus?"
"Actually, they're all pen names."
"Pen names? Well if these guys are some of the better authors on the site, you'd think they could come up with something better than names like The Squad Leader. That might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"I think it's because he writes a series called The Bod Squad"
"Schmuck, shut you're fucking mouth, if I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd have farted. Now, did you make the arrangements like I asked you to?"
"Yes boss, I sent them all an e-mail asking them to come to New York City for an erotica writer's convention. They're all staying at the Day's Inn on 52nd street."
"Excellent work Schmuck, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."
"No problem boss, but can I ask what you're going to do to these guys?"
"Why yes you can. I was just about to explain that to our guest here anyway. You see, each of these individuals has a specific celebrity that really uh, motivates their writing. The Squad Leader likes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Carnage Jackson is into Natalie Portman, Rulehater likes Beyonce Knowles, and KMB is an absolute freak for Rose McGowan. I've managed to have these women come to New York this weekend as well. My plan is to have them "accidentally" encounter the writers. Then, one quick arrow later and these girls will be ready to rock their worlds."
"Great plan boss, but how exactly is that a punishment?"
"I'm not trying to punish them, I'm actually a nice guy. But I figure after fucking the girl of your dreams, how could you possibly continue writing erotic fiction? Nothing could possibly compare, and thus CSSA will be shut down and I'm back in demand. Bwuh hah hah hah!"
"I think you need to work on the evil laugh a little more"
"For once in your pathetic existence Schmuck, I think you're right. Now, are you guys ready to go to New York?"
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Room 1710 of the Day's Inn:
OK, here we are outside of Carnage Jackson's room. From here on out, we're going to have to be quiet and keep ourselves scarce. That's why I've made all three of us invisible in addition to not allowing anyone to hear us.
"What, you don't trust us to be quiet?"
"Schmuck, do you even have to ask that question?"
Opening the door, we crept quietly in and found Carnage at work on his lap top, presumably composing the next chapter of his hit series "Hollywood after Dark."
"If only he really knew what went on in Hollywood" I thought as I looked over his shoulder at the screen. But to my surprise, he wasn't working on his series, rather he was posting on a message board all of the virtues of Natalie Portman.
"Natalie Portman is the essence of beauty" he typed. "Her grace and elegance cannot be measured in any quantifiable way. She is the standard by which all women should be judged. Who are we but mere peasants who should grovel at the feet of such a queen. Her charm lies not only in her.."
"Good lord, I can't take much more of this shit!" I cried as I looked away. "I'm the fucking god of love and this shit is too sappy even for me!"
"I think he makes some good points" Schmuck answered with a smile that highlighted his ridiculously exaggerated overbite.
"Fine, you stay here and read the rest while I go downstairs and set the next phase into motion."
I quickly hustled downstairs, happy to be out of the room. Even though I had made fun of the flowering praise that he heaped upon Natalie, I had to admit that Carnage and I had a little bit in common. If anyone saw the way I acted around my first wife Psyche, I'd never have lived it down. That woman turned me into jelly, so I guess it can happen to the best of us. When I reached the lobby, I instantly changed my appearance into that of a desk clerk in anticipation of Ms. Portman's arrival.
A short while later, a beautiful young woman strode up to my desk.
"Hello" she said. "My name is Natalie Portman, I believe my publicist made reservations for me at this hotel."
"Well if it isn't the essence of beauty herself" I quipped.
"Excuse me?" she said.
"Oh nothing" I replied. "Just the fake name your publicist listed you under."
"Huh?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face.
But before she could press the issue, I handed her the room key.
"Here you go" I said. "Room 1710. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful evening."
"Thanks" she said, still shaking her head.
As she turned to head up to what she thought was her room, I slipped back into my invisible disguise and followed her upstairs. Natalie slipped the key card into the lock and opened the door. But just as she did, I shot her in the behind with one of my "love at first sight" arrows.
"H-Hey this is a private..." Carnage began as he looked up to see who was entering his room. He quickly stopped when he realized who it was. Natalie quickly surveyed the room and spotted a young man about 5'7 with brown hair and blue eyes. She couldn't explain it, but something about him made her body tingle.
"I'm sorry" Natalie said. "The guy downstairs must have made a mistake."
Carnage just stood there with his jaw hanging wide open.
"You got a name?" she asked, but he was unable to break free from his paralysis.
"Okaaay" she said slowly. "Well I'm just going to go downstairs and see what the deal is."
That finally broke him free from his shock.
"CJ" he blurted. "CJ is my name."
"Well, it's good to meet you CJ, my name is Natalie."
"I know" he said, his head still swimming. "I know everything about you."
"Real smooth" I said to Schmuck. "Way to come off not sounding like a stalker. Good thing she's under a spell."
"Is that right?" she countered playfully. "Then you must know how excited I am to be in New York doing some early work on Episode III."
"Wow" he replied. "I had no idea you were even in town."
"Yeah, I just flew in tonight" she answered.
"Don't do it" I thought as I cringed in anticipation at the lame punch line forthcoming.
"And boy are my arms tired" she finished to which Carnage and Schmuck both busted out in laughter like they had never heard that joke before. At least Schmuck had an excuse for his braying, he's half donkey for Pete's sake! But Carnage was just doing so because he was infatuated with the young woman.
"Yeah, I was getting ready to turn in soon too" he said.
"You know" Natalie said. "If you don't feel weird about sharing a room with a complete stranger, we could both save some money."
"Y-You mean you want to share a room with me" he stammered in disbelief.
"Sure" she replied cheerfully. "You seem pretty harmless, plus you're cute, so what have I got to lose."
"O.K." he said. "It's a deal. Now if you'll excuse me for one moment."
Carnage rushed into the bathroom and quickly splashed some cold water on his face.
"This isn't real" he said to himself as he looked frantically into the mirror. "There's no fucking way this is real. You've been looking at that computer screen for too long. You're going to go back out there and there won't be any Natalie. Now buck up soldier and get out there!"
With his self pep talk completed, Carnage slowly opened the bathroom door and entered the main room. When he did, he found Natalie looking at his lap top with tears in her eyes.
"Shit, I left my computer out" he thought as he quickly grabbed the computer and closed it.
"I can't believe you wrote those things" she said, the tears now beginning to roll down her cheeks.
"Natalie, I can explain" he stammered.
"No need to" she said. "Those are some of the most beautiful things anyone has ever written about me." As she said this, she grabbed him and started to kiss him passionately.
Carnage broke the kiss and whispered to her "Natalie, you're my density, I mean you're my destiny."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I heard that once in Back to the Future" I said to Schmuck, but he wasn't listening.
"Isn't it romantic?" he said, beaming.
"Come on you idiot" I said. "We've got work to do."
As we left the room, Carnage and Natalie continued to kiss one another, hands groping each other's bodies as they fell together onto the bed. He lifted off her small pink shirt and slowly began to kiss her neck, inching his way down toward her chest. He unclasped her bra and tossed it to the floor, taking one of her small, yet perky breasts into his mouth.
Natalie arched her back, raising her chest towards Carnage as he continued to suck away.
"Ooooohhhh yess!!" she moaned as Carnage lightly pinched her nipples. Natalie then rolled over to where she was on top of him and then began to work her way down. She unzipped his fly and pulled down his pants, allowing his cock to free itself. But just as she was about to wrap her lips around his engorged member, he stopped her.
"Wait a minute" he said. "You're too beautiful to give anybody a blow job."
"Just shut the fuck up and enjoy it" she said, pushing him back onto the bed and taking his cock into her mouth.
Natalie worked her mouth up and down Carnage's dick, her lips sliding up and down, as she grasped the base with her hand. She paused at the top to kiss the head before continuing to deep throat him.
"Ahhhhhh" he cried, leaning his head back in pleasure as the girl of his dreams worked him to a frenzy. Then, just as he was about to come, Natalie stopped.
She crawled up to his ear and whispered "I want you inside of me now!" Carnage didn't have to be told twice. He quickly yanked Natalie's jeans and panties down before laying her down on her back.
Hovering above her, Carnage could see Natalie's pussy was already wet in anticipation. He lowered himself down and worked his tongue into her slit.
Natalie writhed on the bed in pleasure as Carnage continued to tease her clit with his tongue.
"Pleassse!" she begged. "I want you to fuck me now!!"
His intent was to tease Natalie into a frenzy with his tongue, but unable to resist her charms, he pulled himself up and slid his cock into her tight pussy.
"Ohhhhhhh" she cried as she felt him slip inside of her. Carnage began to pump away at Natalie's vise-like cunt, the pleasure in both of their bodies building to a frenzy.
"Oh yesss! Oh yeah!! Fuck me hard!!!" she continued to moan into Carnage's ear. Finally, he could feel his orgasm building, and Carnage unleashed a thick load of come inside of Natalie's pussy, before they both collapsed and rolled over onto their backs.
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Downstairs in the Lobby:
The night was far from over for Carnage and Natalie, but just as it was beginning, Cupid and Schmuck were making their way downstairs.
"I hope you two enjoyed that little show" I said. "I know I thought it was great."
"Who's next boss?" Schmuck asked, slightly hopping up and down in anticipation.
"Next on the list is the rookie of the year" I replied. "It's the guy that calls himself Rulehater."
"It's not Snoop Dogg coming down the stairs over there is it?" Schmuck asked, nodding towards the tall black kid with the afro wearing a Michael Olawakandi jersey.
"That's him" I replied. "He's pretty easy to spot, because I think he's the last Clippers fan on the face of the Earth. Anyway, I called his room earlier pretending to be from a local radio station. I told him that he won free tickets to the Destiny's Child show tonight at the Garden. I thought he was going to hyperventilate when I broke the news that he'd be getting a ride to the show in Beyonce's private limo."
"That's a sweet plan boss, but Destiny's Child doesn't have a concert tonight do they?"
"Well I'm sure Rulehater won't mind" I said. "But in order to get Beyonce over here, I had to act like her manager. I told her that the latest rap sensation "30 Cent Ice Cream" was staying at the hotel and I wanted her to pick him up and go record a few songs downtown at the studio with him. You know how much she likes rappers."
"Boss, you're a genius" Schmuck fawned.
"Save the sucking up for later" I said as I quickly took the form of an important looking radio executive.
"Are you the gentleman I spoke with over the phone?" I asked as I shook Rulehater's hand.
"Yep, that's me" he replied. "I still can't believe all of this is happening."
"Well believe it sir" I said. "Because Beyonce will be here any minute. Speaking of which, how should I introduce you when she gets here."
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"Your name sir" I replied. "You do have one don't you?"
"Oh, yeah" he answered. "You can call me rulehater if you want."
"O.K. mister hater" I replied in as cheesy a voice as I could muster (I really wanted to nail the uptight executive trying to be hip role). "I'm sure tonight will be off the heezie!"
"Yeah, man" he replied, rolling his eyes.
We stepped out in front of the hotel to wait for the limo and Rulehater was visibly nervous. He kept shifting back and forth, muttering to himself as I droned on about how great my fictitious radio station was. I smiled to myself as the lyrics "I don't think you're ready, I don't think you're ready, I don't think you're ready for Des-ti-ny" played over and over again in my head.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the limo rounded the corner and pulled up to the curb. The door opened up and Rulehater stepped inside, bumping his head on the top of the door as he did so. No one noticed Schmuck and myself jump inside the limo as well, nor did they notice when I broke out my arrows and commenced with the shooting. Maybe it was because we were invisible.
Once the dirty work was done and I sat down, I was floored by how hot Beyonce looked. She wore a pair of low, hip hugging jeans and a tight shirt that showed off her midriff.
"So you're the next big star" she said with a wink to Rulehater.
"Well, I don't know about all of that" he said shyly, not quite sure what she was talking about.
"Don't be modest" Beyonce replied. "My manager said that everyone's been raving about your work."
"You know about that?" Rulehater said in astonishment, now convinced she was talking about his writing. "I hope you're not offended by anything that I've written, but you really inspire me."
"Oh, that's so sweet" she said. "But I haven't actually gotten to check out your stuff first hand yet, so I really don't know what I think of it yet. But if it's as good as I've heard, I really don't see why I would be offended."
Rulehater just slammed the gin and tonic he had in his hand and slumped back into his seat, unsure of what else he should say.
"Why are you so nervous sugar?" she asked.
"I'm just, I don't know, you're just so hot" he stammered.
"Very smooth" I said to Schmuck. "If that doesn't get you laid, I don't know what would."
"Cut the guy some slack" Schmuck replied. "It's not every day you meet a celebrity, especially one as hot as Beyonce."
"You know, Schmuck, for a dumbass, you do occasionally spew out a nugget of wisdom" I said. "Now let's jet, our work is done here, but there's still a couple of more people to take care of yet."
"Well why don't you come over here and sit next to me then" Beyonce cooed. Rulehater quickly switched seats and sat down next to Beyonce.
"We're almost to the studio Miss Knowles" said the limo driver.
"Why don't you circle the block for a while" she said to the driver as she raised the privacy screen behind the driver. "I'll let you know when we're ready to go inside."
By this time, Rulehater was nearly hyperventilating. Beyonce calmly put her hand on his leg and said with a smile "Why don't we work out some of that tension so that you're work doesn't suffer."
She leaned over and unbuttoned his pants and yanked them down before going to work on his cock. Beyonce wrapped her gorgeous, full lips around his dick, bobbing up and down as Rulehater groaned in ecstasy.
Just looking down and realizing who it was sucking his dick had him ready to blow his load in a short time, and he could feel it building.
"I'm gonna come" he said as he tried to pull Beyonce up, not wanting to piss her off by desecrating her beautiful face. But Beyonce wouldn't let him pull her up, instead she continued sucking away until at last a thick blast of come shot her in the mouth and all over her face and hair.
Rulehater leaned back, breathing hard as Beyonce wiped off her face.
"We aren't done just yet" she said, removing her shirt and bra. Rulehater quickly pounced on her, attacking her juicy breasts with his mouth and hands, greedily sucking away at her hardened brown nipples.
"Mmmmmm, Yeahhhh!!!" she moaned as Rulehater continued to play with her perfectly firm breasts. He soon regained his erection, and dispatched of Beyonce's jeans post haste.
As he sat there staring at Beyonce Knowles wearing only her yellow thong, come still in her hair, Rulehater kept expecting to wake up from the dream. But when Beyonce got on all fours in the middle of the floor of the limo and shook her ass at him, he quickly snapped back to reality.
He climbed up from behind, yanked Beyonce's thong to the side and began to pump away at her doggy style.
"Fuck yes!!!" Beyonce moaned as Rulehater filled her moist pussy with his throbbing cock. Harder and harder he pumped, as Beyonce continued to cry out in pleasure. At one point, he was sure she was screaming loud enough for anyone outside the limo to hear, but neither one of them cared.
Just as he was about to come again, Beyonce turned around and said "I want you to fuck my asshole." Just thinking about fucking her bootylicious ass almost made him come, but Rulehater managed to compose himself, and worked his dick into Beyonce's tight asshole.
"Uhhhhhhh, Yesss!!!" she moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain. "Fuck me, ohhhhhhh, Fuck me!!!"
Finally, Rulehater could stand it no longer, he pulled his cock out and blew a thick white stream of come all over Beyonce's ass and back.
After cleaning themselves up, Beyonce and Rulehater headed into the studio. The session was a complete disaster as "30 Cent Ice Cream" wasn't nearly the accomplished rapper that Beyonce had been led to believe he was. So they just went back to what they were comfortable with which was fucking each other's brains out.
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Meanwhile, back at the hotel:
"So where's this pool party at?" asked the man with the bald head.
"How the fuck should I know?" replied the other man. "But this is the pool, so I'd assume this is where it's supposed to be."
"Figured that out all by yourself did you Einstein" I laughed to myself. "And here I thought you were dumb Schmuck."
Schmuck just sat there looking pissed off at my comment while I continued to laugh.
"So which one of these guys is KMB and which one is The Squad Leader?" I asked.
"The guy with the spiky blonde hair and the tattoos on his shoulders and back is the Squad Leader" he replied.
"Who does he think he is, Johnny Bravo?" I laughed. "Skate or die dude!"
"I still don't know why you're picking on the guy" Schmuck answered. "He hasn't even been writing much lately, he's been stuck up some girl's ass all the time."
"Yeah, but he wrote over twenty chapters of his Bod Squad series" I said. "And to me, that constitutes a threat to my business. Plus, you know how these snot nosed punker kids are, they think they know everything."
"You don't think you're over generalizing boss?" Schmuck asked.
"No I don't" I answered matter of factly. "I take it the bald dude is KMB?"
"Yeah" he answered. "That dude is a literary genius. His series the Harem is the most popular one on CSSA."
"Not to mention he's a psycho" I added.
"Why do you say that?" Schmuck asked.
"Didn't you say he was obsessed with Rose McGowan" I replied. "And that he was killing people with garden tools if they so much as said one wrong thing about her."
"Yeah, but that's just rumor" he answered. "I mean there was that one guy JT that mysteriously disappeared after disparaging Rose, but there was never any proof that KMB did anything to him."
"Nevertheless, the guy scares me" I said. "I'll be much more at ease when he's done writing."
"So what's the plan here?" Schmuck asked.
"Well, I told these two saps there was a pool party tonight at midnight, and I told Rose McGowan and Jennifer Love Hewitt that they would be doing a photo shoot for Entertainment magazine. They were told it would be for the "Who's hot this summer" issue and that they should show up in bikinis here."
"Great, but they better get here soon, or these two dudes just might kill each other." Schmuck replied, pointing to where KMB had The Squad Leader pinned against the wall with his hands around his throat.
"All I said was that I like chrysanthemums better than roses" Squad Leader managed to say as KMB continued choking him.
"Oh, I thought you were bashing Rose McGowan" KMB answered releasing his hold.
At that moment, Rose and Love strode into the pool room, each wearing a bright pink bikini. Rose's pale skin stood in stark contrast to Love's more tan complexion, but each woman was absolutely stunning. The curves of their bodies filled out the swimsuits quite nicely, and even I stepped back to catch my breath.
"Wow, now that's hot" I said. "Good thing I've got just the arrows for such an occasion."
"What kind of arrows are those?" Schmuck asked me.
"I call these my Girls Gone Wild Arrows" I replied. "One shot, and these girls are going to lose any and all of their inhibitions."
As I let the arrows fly, I couldn't help but feel some satisfaction in another job well done.
"Pretty soon there won't be any more CSSA" I remarked to Schmuck.
"Are you sure that's what you want" he asked. "Why don't you read a copy of some of these guys' stories that I printed up and sleep on it."
Reluctantly, I took the stories from Schmuck and we left the room. Meanwhile the girls had approached Squad Leader and KMB, wondering where all of the camera equipment was.
"So, if you guys are the photographers, where are the cameras?" Rose asked.
Both writers just stood there in awe, wondering exactly what was going on.
"I've got a camera" KMB offered. "It's one of those disposable Kodak kind that I brought for my visit to New York, but I'm sure it will work."
"You dumbass" Squad Leader said, trying to one up KMB. "That camera won't work."
"I think it's just fine" Love replied with a wink.
"Yeah, that's what I was just saying" he backpedaled. "That is the perfect camera for the occasion."
KMB quickly produced the camera from his gym bag and began to take some snapshots of the two women.
"I've only got 26 shots left on this camera" he said.
"I guess we better give you something worth taking pictures of then shouldn't we" Rose teased and with that, she and Love began making out.
The Squad Leader stood there with his jaw hanging open as KMB took snapshots of the two women kissing each other. Love untied Rose's bikini top and began hungrily sucking away at her ample breasts, rolling her tongue around her large pink nipples.
"Oooohhhh yesss" Rose moaned as Love slid her hand down the front of her panties and into her awaiting slit.
"Mmmmmm yeaaahhhh!!" Rose cried as Love continued to slide her fingers in and out of her dripping wet snatch while they French kissed each other.
Suddenly, Love turned to The Squad Leader and said "You gonna stand their gawking, or are you going to join in?"
He nearly fell into the pool as he quickly ran over to join the party. When he reached the two women, he quickly dispatched of Love's bikini bottom and kneeled down to eat her out.
While Love was still finger fucking Rose and making out with her, Squad Leader worked his tongue in and out of Love's pussy and asshole.
"Ooooohhhh Yessss!!!" Love cried as the Squad Leader continued to tongue away at her asshole while at the same time, worked two of his fingers in and out of her pussy.
Just then, KMB conveniently ran out of film and hustled over to join the fracas. He and Rose quickly paired off and began to make out while Squad Leader continued to work Love's pussy.
"Oooohhhh, yesss, I'm gonnna commmmeeee!!" she cried as her orgasm hit. Squad Leader licked up all of her juices before crawling up to kiss her passionately.
While that was going on, KMB and Rose were lying next to them in a 69 position. Rose was on top of him, hungrily devouring his cock as KMB worked his tongue into her snatch from below.
Their moans and cries gradually got louder and louder as they worked each other towards a climax. Meanwhile, The Squad Leader had Love's top off and was kissing and caressing her beautiful breasts. He climbed up until he was almost sitting on her chest and then squeezed her tits around his cock, rocking back and forth as he tittie fucked her.
"OOOOOhhhhhhh Yessss!!! Eat my pussy!!!" Rose yelled as KMB continued eating her out. She could feel her climax coming just as KMB was shooting a hot load of spunk down her throat and all over her face. At the same time, The Squad Leader had worked himself to an orgasm, fucking Love's tits and shot a thick, gooey load of white come all over Love's face and chest.
Rose crawled over to her and licked the come from her breasts and face before kissing her hard on the mouth and sharing the salty loads. While the two women laid on the ground kissing, Squad Leader and KMB managed to reload and crawled over to the two women.
KMB mounted Rose from behind while The Squad Leader did the same to Love. The two men began to pump away at the women, as the girls continued kissing each other.
"Fuck me!! Harder!! Harder!!! Pleassseee!!!" Rose cried as KMB pumped away. At the same time, Love groaned in ecstasy as The Squad Leader filled her up. Finally, The Squad Leader had his orgasm, and shot his load all over Love's pussy and asshole. A few minutes later, KMB did the same, and all four of them collapsed in a heap.
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The next day:
"Well Schmuck" I said. "Looks like you were right. I read those stories you printed out for me and I'm quite inspired."
"I told you you'd like them" he said. "But since your plan worked, I doubt any of those guys will be writing any more stories any time soon."
"Actually, quite the contrary" I replied. "A couple of memory erase arrows and they'll be as good as new. As for me, after reading those stories, I think there are a few celebrities I'll be visiting soon to see if I can't make my own fantasies come true. Care to join me?"
"You bet boss" he eagerly replied. "Hollywood, here we come!"
THE END
What's up readers? It's The Squad Leader here to introduce my new series, Cupid's Revenge. It seems that Cupid, in addition to being the god of love is also quite a smart ass and a bit of a show off. He also tends to get bored easily and quite often finds himself interfering in mortal affairs (especially those of celebrities). This series is a recap of some of his more memorable adventures. So enjoy, but be warned, Cupid's not always a nice guy, and sometimes he can be downright rude, so if you're easily offended, this might not be the series for you.
Special thanks to Carnage Jackson, KMB and Rulehater for allowing me to include them in this story and have a little fun at all of our expense with my over exaggerated, tongue in cheek characterizations.
As always, I love receiving feedback, suggestions and requests. Please send any of those to squadleaderus@yahoo.com.
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"What fools these mortals be"
-Puck, "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
Cupid's Revenge: Chapter One - Storytellers
Oh, hey there, I guess you're wondering what we're doing up here floating on a cloud, and why I'm wearing a diaper? For that matter, I guess you're wondering who the hell I am?
Well genius, the name's Cupid, and for the record, it's not a diaper, it happens to be the traditional garb of my family. And let me tell you another thing...
"Hey Eros! Eros, I got that info you wanted me to get! Eros!"
"Damn it Schmuck, I told you not to call me by that name! Now sit down over there and be quiet! I'll deal with you in a minute!"
As I was saying, my family's got more stroke around here than the Sopranos. You may have heard of my grandfather, a fellow by the name of Zeus. Yeah, talk some shit now! All I've gotta do is snap my fingers and you'll have a lightning bolt up your ass quicker than you can say bad hair day.
My great aunts and uncles are nothing to sneeze at either. There's great uncle Posieden, god of the sea. He's always been my favorite because when I was a kid, he would take me fishing. Sometimes he'd even let me use his trident to catch a swordfish or two. And then there's aunt Persephone and uncle Hades. Man, everybody's got a weird uncle, but this guy is just downright creepy. He's always sitting around in his underworld torturing people and plotting destruction. And he only comes up to see us on holidays, which is just fine with me, cause that dude is shady.
Now, a little bit about myself. I was born in Greece, and had a pretty normal childhood except for the fact that I didn't know who my father was. Everyone's got there own ideas about who my pops was, but the two main theories are that it was either Ares or Hermes. Both guys are ok, but I can't really see either of them being my dad. I mean Ares is such a prick, that I can't see how any woman would want to bear him a child, and I'm pretty sure Hermes is gay. Where do you think the term "light in the loafers" came from. Irregardless of who my father was, I do know one thing's for sure, and that is that my mother is a wonderful woman. I'm sure everybody feels that way about there mom, but mine was truly a special lady. You probably know her as Aphrodite, the goddess of love.
"You're mom is definitely a M.I.L.F. Eros!"
"Schmuck, shut the fuck up or I'll make you fall in love with this goofy CSSA reader I'm talking to!"
Sorry about that, you'll have to forgive my over exuberant friend here. Schmuck was the unfortunate byproduct of one of my drunken mishaps. You see, I got wasted one night at a frat party and decided to hook my hosts up. I shot one of the guys with an arrow hoping to have him fall in love with the cute pizza delivery girl, but instead, the poor sap wandered over to the petting zoo at the mall and laid eyes upon an ass named Roberta. No seriously, I'm not just calling her names, she was literally a donkey! After sobering up and realizing what I had done, I turned off the love spell, but it was too late. A short while later, little Schmuckie was born. Roberta wouldn't have him because he looked mostly human, and the humans wouldn't take him in on account of his donkey ears and buckteeth. So being as it was kind of my fault, I raised him. He's a good kid for the most part, just not too bright.
I try to give him jobs to do so that he understands the value of hard work just like my mother did for me when I was a child. She got tired of me lying around Olympus all day and said to me "Eros, I want you to get off your ass and start working." By the way, Eros is my real name, which I hate. I think I was named after one of her friends from college or something. In any case, only mom gets to call me that, so be warned, unless you want to live a lonely existence I suggest you call me Cupid. Anyway, she put me to work having people fall in love. As far as work goes, it's not a bad gig, I get a magic bow and arrow, flexible hours and an awesome 401(K) plan. Oh yeah, and then there's the super powers. How many of you can fly? What about turning invisible, bet you wish you could do that? Change your appearance to look like anyone you want to? Didn't think so.
So that's kinda my story in a nutshell. I've left out a few details, but we'd be here all day if I gave you my full story. Plus, you're probably still wondering what you're doing here on this cloud. Well you see, I brought you here to show you what happens when people fuck with me. There is this site on the net called CSSA with all of these stories about celebrities and yada yada yada. Anyways, this site is helping to upset the balance of love. Instead of people falling in love and getting married and all that jazz, it's now all about lust. You've got all of these Homer wannabe's writing erotic fantasies and whipping people up into a frenzy about it. This absolutely does not work for me. So I sent Schmuck down to Earth to find out who the biggest offenders were, and with the information he managed to dig up, I'm going to take care of these people once and for all, and you're going to watch me do it.
"Ahem, I said with the information he dug up, I'm going to take care of these people."
"Oh, right boss, here's the stuff you asked for."
"Let's see here, according to this file, the four main perps are Carnage Jackson, The Squad Leader, Rulehater and KMB. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't KMB some type of foot fungus?"
"Actually, they're all pen names."
"Pen names? Well if these guys are some of the better authors on the site, you'd think they could come up with something better than names like The Squad Leader. That might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"I think it's because he writes a series called The Bod Squad"
"Schmuck, shut you're fucking mouth, if I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd have farted. Now, did you make the arrangements like I asked you to?"
"Yes boss, I sent them all an e-mail asking them to come to New York City for an erotica writer's convention. They're all staying at the Day's Inn on 52nd street."
"Excellent work Schmuck, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier."
"No problem boss, but can I ask what you're going to do to these guys?"
"Why yes you can. I was just about to explain that to our guest here anyway. You see, each of these individuals has a specific celebrity that really uh, motivates their writing. The Squad Leader likes Jennifer Love Hewitt, Carnage Jackson is into Natalie Portman, Rulehater likes Beyonce Knowles, and KMB is an absolute freak for Rose McGowan. I've managed to have these women come to New York this weekend as well. My plan is to have them "accidentally" encounter the writers. Then, one quick arrow later and these girls will be ready to rock their worlds."
"Great plan boss, but how exactly is that a punishment?"
"I'm not trying to punish them, I'm actually a nice guy. But I figure after fucking the girl of your dreams, how could you possibly continue writing erotic fiction? Nothing could possibly compare, and thus CSSA will be shut down and I'm back in demand. Bwuh hah hah hah!"
"I think you need to work on the evil laugh a little more"
"For once in your pathetic existence Schmuck, I think you're right. Now, are you guys ready to go to New York?"
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Room 1710 of the Day's Inn:
OK, here we are outside of Carnage Jackson's room. From here on out, we're going to have to be quiet and keep ourselves scarce. That's why I've made all three of us invisible in addition to not allowing anyone to hear us.
"What, you don't trust us to be quiet?"
"Schmuck, do you even have to ask that question?"
Opening the door, we crept quietly in and found Carnage at work on his lap top, presumably composing the next chapter of his hit series "Hollywood after Dark."
"If only he really knew what went on in Hollywood" I thought as I looked over his shoulder at the screen. But to my surprise, he wasn't working on his series, rather he was posting on a message board all of the virtues of Natalie Portman.
"Natalie Portman is the essence of beauty" he typed. "Her grace and elegance cannot be measured in any quantifiable way. She is the standard by which all women should be judged. Who are we but mere peasants who should grovel at the feet of such a queen. Her charm lies not only in her.."
"Good lord, I can't take much more of this shit!" I cried as I looked away. "I'm the fucking god of love and this shit is too sappy even for me!"
"I think he makes some good points" Schmuck answered with a smile that highlighted his ridiculously exaggerated overbite.
"Fine, you stay here and read the rest while I go downstairs and set the next phase into motion."
I quickly hustled downstairs, happy to be out of the room. Even though I had made fun of the flowering praise that he heaped upon Natalie, I had to admit that Carnage and I had a little bit in common. If anyone saw the way I acted around my first wife Psyche, I'd never have lived it down. That woman turned me into jelly, so I guess it can happen to the best of us. When I reached the lobby, I instantly changed my appearance into that of a desk clerk in anticipation of Ms. Portman's arrival.
A short while later, a beautiful young woman strode up to my desk.
"Hello" she said. "My name is Natalie Portman, I believe my publicist made reservations for me at this hotel."
"Well if it isn't the essence of beauty herself" I quipped.
"Excuse me?" she said.
"Oh nothing" I replied. "Just the fake name your publicist listed you under."
"Huh?" she asked with a quizzical look on her face.
But before she could press the issue, I handed her the room key.
"Here you go" I said. "Room 1710. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful evening."
"Thanks" she said, still shaking her head.
As she turned to head up to what she thought was her room, I slipped back into my invisible disguise and followed her upstairs. Natalie slipped the key card into the lock and opened the door. But just as she did, I shot her in the behind with one of my "love at first sight" arrows.
"H-Hey this is a private..." Carnage began as he looked up to see who was entering his room. He quickly stopped when he realized who it was. Natalie quickly surveyed the room and spotted a young man about 5'7 with brown hair and blue eyes. She couldn't explain it, but something about him made her body tingle.
"I'm sorry" Natalie said. "The guy downstairs must have made a mistake."
Carnage just stood there with his jaw hanging wide open.
"You got a name?" she asked, but he was unable to break free from his paralysis.
"Okaaay" she said slowly. "Well I'm just going to go downstairs and see what the deal is."
That finally broke him free from his shock.
"CJ" he blurted. "CJ is my name."
"Well, it's good to meet you CJ, my name is Natalie."
"I know" he said, his head still swimming. "I know everything about you."
"Real smooth" I said to Schmuck. "Way to come off not sounding like a stalker. Good thing she's under a spell."
"Is that right?" she countered playfully. "Then you must know how excited I am to be in New York doing some early work on Episode III."
"Wow" he replied. "I had no idea you were even in town."
"Yeah, I just flew in tonight" she answered.
"Don't do it" I thought as I cringed in anticipation at the lame punch line forthcoming.
"And boy are my arms tired" she finished to which Carnage and Schmuck both busted out in laughter like they had never heard that joke before. At least Schmuck had an excuse for his braying, he's half donkey for Pete's sake! But Carnage was just doing so because he was infatuated with the young woman.
"Yeah, I was getting ready to turn in soon too" he said.
"You know" Natalie said. "If you don't feel weird about sharing a room with a complete stranger, we could both save some money."
"Y-You mean you want to share a room with me" he stammered in disbelief.
"Sure" she replied cheerfully. "You seem pretty harmless, plus you're cute, so what have I got to lose."
"O.K." he said. "It's a deal. Now if you'll excuse me for one moment."
Carnage rushed into the bathroom and quickly splashed some cold water on his face.
"This isn't real" he said to himself as he looked frantically into the mirror. "There's no fucking way this is real. You've been looking at that computer screen for too long. You're going to go back out there and there won't be any Natalie. Now buck up soldier and get out there!"
With his self pep talk completed, Carnage slowly opened the bathroom door and entered the main room. When he did, he found Natalie looking at his lap top with tears in her eyes.
"Shit, I left my computer out" he thought as he quickly grabbed the computer and closed it.
"I can't believe you wrote those things" she said, the tears now beginning to roll down her cheeks.
"Natalie, I can explain" he stammered.
"No need to" she said. "Those are some of the most beautiful things anyone has ever written about me." As she said this, she grabbed him and started to kiss him passionately.
Carnage broke the kiss and whispered to her "Natalie, you're my density, I mean you're my destiny."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I heard that once in Back to the Future" I said to Schmuck, but he wasn't listening.
"Isn't it romantic?" he said, beaming.
"Come on you idiot" I said. "We've got work to do."
As we left the room, Carnage and Natalie continued to kiss one another, hands groping each other's bodies as they fell together onto the bed. He lifted off her small pink shirt and slowly began to kiss her neck, inching his way down toward her chest. He unclasped her bra and tossed it to the floor, taking one of her small, yet perky breasts into his mouth.
Natalie arched her back, raising her chest towards Carnage as he continued to suck away.
"Ooooohhhh yess!!" she moaned as Carnage lightly pinched her nipples. Natalie then rolled over to where she was on top of him and then began to work her way down. She unzipped his fly and pulled down his pants, allowing his cock to free itself. But just as she was about to wrap her lips around his engorged member, he stopped her.
"Wait a minute" he said. "You're too beautiful to give anybody a blow job."
"Just shut the fuck up and enjoy it" she said, pushing him back onto the bed and taking his cock into her mouth.
Natalie worked her mouth up and down Carnage's dick, her lips sliding up and down, as she grasped the base with her hand. She paused at the top to kiss the head before continuing to deep throat him.
"Ahhhhhh" he cried, leaning his head back in pleasure as the girl of his dreams worked him to a frenzy. Then, just as he was about to come, Natalie stopped.
She crawled up to his ear and whispered "I want you inside of me now!" Carnage didn't have to be told twice. He quickly yanked Natalie's jeans and panties down before laying her down on her back.
Hovering above her, Carnage could see Natalie's pussy was already wet in anticipation. He lowered himself down and worked his tongue into her slit.
Natalie writhed on the bed in pleasure as Carnage continued to tease her clit with his tongue.
"Pleassse!" she begged. "I want you to fuck me now!!"
His intent was to tease Natalie into a frenzy with his tongue, but unable to resist her charms, he pulled himself up and slid his cock into her tight pussy.
"Ohhhhhhh" she cried as she felt him slip inside of her. Carnage began to pump away at Natalie's vise-like cunt, the pleasure in both of their bodies building to a frenzy.
"Oh yesss! Oh yeah!! Fuck me hard!!!" she continued to moan into Carnage's ear. Finally, he could feel his orgasm building, and Carnage unleashed a thick load of come inside of Natalie's pussy, before they both collapsed and rolled over onto their backs.
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Downstairs in the Lobby:
The night was far from over for Carnage and Natalie, but just as it was beginning, Cupid and Schmuck were making their way downstairs.
"I hope you two enjoyed that little show" I said. "I know I thought it was great."
"Who's next boss?" Schmuck asked, slightly hopping up and down in anticipation.
"Next on the list is the rookie of the year" I replied. "It's the guy that calls himself Rulehater."
"It's not Snoop Dogg coming down the stairs over there is it?" Schmuck asked, nodding towards the tall black kid with the afro wearing a Michael Olawakandi jersey.
"That's him" I replied. "He's pretty easy to spot, because I think he's the last Clippers fan on the face of the Earth. Anyway, I called his room earlier pretending to be from a local radio station. I told him that he won free tickets to the Destiny's Child show tonight at the Garden. I thought he was going to hyperventilate when I broke the news that he'd be getting a ride to the show in Beyonce's private limo."
"That's a sweet plan boss, but Destiny's Child doesn't have a concert tonight do they?"
"Well I'm sure Rulehater won't mind" I said. "But in order to get Beyonce over here, I had to act like her manager. I told her that the latest rap sensation "30 Cent Ice Cream" was staying at the hotel and I wanted her to pick him up and go record a few songs downtown at the studio with him. You know how much she likes rappers."
"Boss, you're a genius" Schmuck fawned.
"Save the sucking up for later" I said as I quickly took the form of an important looking radio executive.
"Are you the gentleman I spoke with over the phone?" I asked as I shook Rulehater's hand.
"Yep, that's me" he replied. "I still can't believe all of this is happening."
"Well believe it sir" I said. "Because Beyonce will be here any minute. Speaking of which, how should I introduce you when she gets here."
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"Your name sir" I replied. "You do have one don't you?"
"Oh, yeah" he answered. "You can call me rulehater if you want."
"O.K. mister hater" I replied in as cheesy a voice as I could muster (I really wanted to nail the uptight executive trying to be hip role). "I'm sure tonight will be off the heezie!"
"Yeah, man" he replied, rolling his eyes.
We stepped out in front of the hotel to wait for the limo and Rulehater was visibly nervous. He kept shifting back and forth, muttering to himself as I droned on about how great my fictitious radio station was. I smiled to myself as the lyrics "I don't think you're ready, I don't think you're ready, I don't think you're ready for Des-ti-ny" played over and over again in my head.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the limo rounded the corner and pulled up to the curb. The door opened up and Rulehater stepped inside, bumping his head on the top of the door as he did so. No one noticed Schmuck and myself jump inside the limo as well, nor did they notice when I broke out my arrows and commenced with the shooting. Maybe it was because we were invisible.
Once the dirty work was done and I sat down, I was floored by how hot Beyonce looked. She wore a pair of low, hip hugging jeans and a tight shirt that showed off her midriff.
"So you're the next big star" she said with a wink to Rulehater.
"Well, I don't know about all of that" he said shyly, not quite sure what she was talking about.
"Don't be modest" Beyonce replied. "My manager said that everyone's been raving about your work."
"You know about that?" Rulehater said in astonishment, now convinced she was talking about his writing. "I hope you're not offended by anything that I've written, but you really inspire me."
"Oh, that's so sweet" she said. "But I haven't actually gotten to check out your stuff first hand yet, so I really don't know what I think of it yet. But if it's as good as I've heard, I really don't see why I would be offended."
Rulehater just slammed the gin and tonic he had in his hand and slumped back into his seat, unsure of what else he should say.
"Why are you so nervous sugar?" she asked.
"I'm just, I don't know, you're just so hot" he stammered.
"Very smooth" I said to Schmuck. "If that doesn't get you laid, I don't know what would."
"Cut the guy some slack" Schmuck replied. "It's not every day you meet a celebrity, especially one as hot as Beyonce."
"You know, Schmuck, for a dumbass, you do occasionally spew out a nugget of wisdom" I said. "Now let's jet, our work is done here, but there's still a couple of more people to take care of yet."
"Well why don't you come over here and sit next to me then" Beyonce cooed. Rulehater quickly switched seats and sat down next to Beyonce.
"We're almost to the studio Miss Knowles" said the limo driver.
"Why don't you circle the block for a while" she said to the driver as she raised the privacy screen behind the driver. "I'll let you know when we're ready to go inside."
By this time, Rulehater was nearly hyperventilating. Beyonce calmly put her hand on his leg and said with a smile "Why don't we work out some of that tension so that you're work doesn't suffer."
She leaned over and unbuttoned his pants and yanked them down before going to work on his cock. Beyonce wrapped her gorgeous, full lips around his dick, bobbing up and down as Rulehater groaned in ecstasy.
Just looking down and realizing who it was sucking his dick had him ready to blow his load in a short time, and he could feel it building.
"I'm gonna come" he said as he tried to pull Beyonce up, not wanting to piss her off by desecrating her beautiful face. But Beyonce wouldn't let him pull her up, instead she continued sucking away until at last a thick blast of come shot her in the mouth and all over her face and hair.
Rulehater leaned back, breathing hard as Beyonce wiped off her face.
"We aren't done just yet" she said, removing her shirt and bra. Rulehater quickly pounced on her, attacking her juicy breasts with his mouth and hands, greedily sucking away at her hardened brown nipples.
"Mmmmmm, Yeahhhh!!!" she moaned as Rulehater continued to play with her perfectly firm breasts. He soon regained his erection, and dispatched of Beyonce's jeans post haste.
As he sat there staring at Beyonce Knowles wearing only her yellow thong, come still in her hair, Rulehater kept expecting to wake up from the dream. But when Beyonce got on all fours in the middle of the floor of the limo and shook her ass at him, he quickly snapped back to reality.
He climbed up from behind, yanked Beyonce's thong to the side and began to pump away at her doggy style.
"Fuck yes!!!" Beyonce moaned as Rulehater filled her moist pussy with his throbbing cock. Harder and harder he pumped, as Beyonce continued to cry out in pleasure. At one point, he was sure she was screaming loud enough for anyone outside the limo to hear, but neither one of them cared.
Just as he was about to come again, Beyonce turned around and said "I want you to fuck my asshole." Just thinking about fucking her bootylicious ass almost made him come, but Rulehater managed to compose himself, and worked his dick into Beyonce's tight asshole.
"Uhhhhhhh, Yesss!!!" she moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain. "Fuck me, ohhhhhhh, Fuck me!!!"
Finally, Rulehater could stand it no longer, he pulled his cock out and blew a thick white stream of come all over Beyonce's ass and back.
After cleaning themselves up, Beyonce and Rulehater headed into the studio. The session was a complete disaster as "30 Cent Ice Cream" wasn't nearly the accomplished rapper that Beyonce had been led to believe he was. So they just went back to what they were comfortable with which was fucking each other's brains out.
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Meanwhile, back at the hotel:
"So where's this pool party at?" asked the man with the bald head.
"How the fuck should I know?" replied the other man. "But this is the pool, so I'd assume this is where it's supposed to be."
"Figured that out all by yourself did you Einstein" I laughed to myself. "And here I thought you were dumb Schmuck."
Schmuck just sat there looking pissed off at my comment while I continued to laugh.
"So which one of these guys is KMB and which one is The Squad Leader?" I asked.
"The guy with the spiky blonde hair and the tattoos on his shoulders and back is the Squad Leader" he replied.
"Who does he think he is, Johnny Bravo?" I laughed. "Skate or die dude!"
"I still don't know why you're picking on the guy" Schmuck answered. "He hasn't even been writing much lately, he's been stuck up some girl's ass all the time."
"Yeah, but he wrote over twenty chapters of his Bod Squad series" I said. "And to me, that constitutes a threat to my business. Plus, you know how these snot nosed punker kids are, they think they know everything."
"You don't think you're over generalizing boss?" Schmuck asked.
"No I don't" I answered matter of factly. "I take it the bald dude is KMB?"
"Yeah" he answered. "That dude is a literary genius. His series the Harem is the most popular one on CSSA."
"Not to mention he's a psycho" I added.
"Why do you say that?" Schmuck asked.
"Didn't you say he was obsessed with Rose McGowan" I replied. "And that he was killing people with garden tools if they so much as said one wrong thing about her."
"Yeah, but that's just rumor" he answered. "I mean there was that one guy JT that mysteriously disappeared after disparaging Rose, but there was never any proof that KMB did anything to him."
"Nevertheless, the guy scares me" I said. "I'll be much more at ease when he's done writing."
"So what's the plan here?" Schmuck asked.
"Well, I told these two saps there was a pool party tonight at midnight, and I told Rose McGowan and Jennifer Love Hewitt that they would be doing a photo shoot for Entertainment magazine. They were told it would be for the "Who's hot this summer" issue and that they should show up in bikinis here."
"Great, but they better get here soon, or these two dudes just might kill each other." Schmuck replied, pointing to where KMB had The Squad Leader pinned against the wall with his hands around his throat.
"All I said was that I like chrysanthemums better than roses" Squad Leader managed to say as KMB continued choking him.
"Oh, I thought you were bashing Rose McGowan" KMB answered releasing his hold.
At that moment, Rose and Love strode into the pool room, each wearing a bright pink bikini. Rose's pale skin stood in stark contrast to Love's more tan complexion, but each woman was absolutely stunning. The curves of their bodies filled out the swimsuits quite nicely, and even I stepped back to catch my breath.
"Wow, now that's hot" I said. "Good thing I've got just the arrows for such an occasion."
"What kind of arrows are those?" Schmuck asked me.
"I call these my Girls Gone Wild Arrows" I replied. "One shot, and these girls are going to lose any and all of their inhibitions."
As I let the arrows fly, I couldn't help but feel some satisfaction in another job well done.
"Pretty soon there won't be any more CSSA" I remarked to Schmuck.
"Are you sure that's what you want" he asked. "Why don't you read a copy of some of these guys' stories that I printed up and sleep on it."
Reluctantly, I took the stories from Schmuck and we left the room. Meanwhile the girls had approached Squad Leader and KMB, wondering where all of the camera equipment was.
"So, if you guys are the photographers, where are the cameras?" Rose asked.
Both writers just stood there in awe, wondering exactly what was going on.
"I've got a camera" KMB offered. "It's one of those disposable Kodak kind that I brought for my visit to New York, but I'm sure it will work."
"You dumbass" Squad Leader said, trying to one up KMB. "That camera won't work."
"I think it's just fine" Love replied with a wink.
"Yeah, that's what I was just saying" he backpedaled. "That is the perfect camera for the occasion."
KMB quickly produced the camera from his gym bag and began to take some snapshots of the two women.
"I've only got 26 shots left on this camera" he said.
"I guess we better give you something worth taking pictures of then shouldn't we" Rose teased and with that, she and Love began making out.
The Squad Leader stood there with his jaw hanging open as KMB took snapshots of the two women kissing each other. Love untied Rose's bikini top and began hungrily sucking away at her ample breasts, rolling her tongue around her large pink nipples.
"Oooohhhh yesss" Rose moaned as Love slid her hand down the front of her panties and into her awaiting slit.
"Mmmmmm yeaaahhhh!!" Rose cried as Love continued to slide her fingers in and out of her dripping wet snatch while they French kissed each other.
Suddenly, Love turned to The Squad Leader and said "You gonna stand their gawking, or are you going to join in?"
He nearly fell into the pool as he quickly ran over to join the party. When he reached the two women, he quickly dispatched of Love's bikini bottom and kneeled down to eat her out.
While Love was still finger fucking Rose and making out with her, Squad Leader worked his tongue in and out of Love's pussy and asshole.
"Ooooohhhh Yessss!!!" Love cried as the Squad Leader continued to tongue away at her asshole while at the same time, worked two of his fingers in and out of her pussy.
Just then, KMB conveniently ran out of film and hustled over to join the fracas. He and Rose quickly paired off and began to make out while Squad Leader continued to work Love's pussy.
"Oooohhhh, yesss, I'm gonnna commmmeeee!!" she cried as her orgasm hit. Squad Leader licked up all of her juices before crawling up to kiss her passionately.
While that was going on, KMB and Rose were lying next to them in a 69 position. Rose was on top of him, hungrily devouring his cock as KMB worked his tongue into her snatch from below.
Their moans and cries gradually got louder and louder as they worked each other towards a climax. Meanwhile, The Squad Leader had Love's top off and was kissing and caressing her beautiful breasts. He climbed up until he was almost sitting on her chest and then squeezed her tits around his cock, rocking back and forth as he tittie fucked her.
"OOOOOhhhhhhh Yessss!!! Eat my pussy!!!" Rose yelled as KMB continued eating her out. She could feel her climax coming just as KMB was shooting a hot load of spunk down her throat and all over her face. At the same time, The Squad Leader had worked himself to an orgasm, fucking Love's tits and shot a thick, gooey load of white come all over Love's face and chest.
Rose crawled over to her and licked the come from her breasts and face before kissing her hard on the mouth and sharing the salty loads. While the two women laid on the ground kissing, Squad Leader and KMB managed to reload and crawled over to the two women.
KMB mounted Rose from behind while The Squad Leader did the same to Love. The two men began to pump away at the women, as the girls continued kissing each other.
"Fuck me!! Harder!! Harder!!! Pleassseee!!!" Rose cried as KMB pumped away. At the same time, Love groaned in ecstasy as The Squad Leader filled her up. Finally, The Squad Leader had his orgasm, and shot his load all over Love's pussy and asshole. A few minutes later, KMB did the same, and all four of them collapsed in a heap.
__________________________________________________ ____
The next day:
"Well Schmuck" I said. "Looks like you were right. I read those stories you printed out for me and I'm quite inspired."
"I told you you'd like them" he said. "But since your plan worked, I doubt any of those guys will be writing any more stories any time soon."
"Actually, quite the contrary" I replied. "A couple of memory erase arrows and they'll be as good as new. As for me, after reading those stories, I think there are a few celebrities I'll be visiting soon to see if I can't make my own fantasies come true. Care to join me?"
"You bet boss" he eagerly replied. "Hollywood, here we come!"
THE END